Review of Scary Fiction

When something is so strange you could not have made it up, change the names to protect the guilty. When others at the party by the beach began to stand in line with plates, sufficiently "lubricated by single-malt whiskey" Senator Theodore Kouchclimer opted to take Martha Jo Kolabachi home. Not wishing to interfere with his chauffeure's dining experience, Kouchclimer asked for the keys to the large Ford and got them after explaining that it was 11 PM and Miss Kolabachi wanted to catch the "Late Show" and "Anyway I can see that you are hungry." They left. Deputy Stare would report that having followed them discretely, they had gone down Cemetery Road, a private road, then went back to the main road toward the bridge leading back from Chappaquaddick to Edgarville. At first the Deputy thought they might be lost so he followed them. He stopped several yards behind the parked car, the driver sped away, turned around before the deputy could get back to his car began driving in the right direction, he returned to Jacob's Point at the road's end and resumed lurking with his ticket book for drunks leaving late Saturday night parties on the beach road. Had Senator Kouchclimer wobbled a bit or run over a mailbox, the Deputy would have ticketed him, a sobering experience, and the pair would have gone back to the party or Kouchclimer would have taken Miss Kolabachi home by heading left toward the shore instead of right off the bridge and into Puchet's Pond. Alas there was no guardrail, after an attempt at braking the Ford careened into the water and flipped over. Kouchclimer, a good swimmer, tried to open the door underwater but quickly bailed out of the car through the open window of the submerged car. He popped up like a cork and made for the shore. He took an immediate self-assessment as a small forehead cut was stinging from the salt water plunge. Otherwise he was just shaken up. He decided that since Martha had asked him to pay for an abortion that he should walk back to the party about five blocks down the road and come back with someone to rescue his friend. He stumbled into the party where John and Frank noticed he was soaking wet and asked,"Why are you wet, Ted?" Ted sheepishly responded that he had driven into the water. John asked,"Where is Martha?" to which Ted answered, "She's in the car! We have to help her!" The three jumped into John's car and speedily spun tires getting back to the scene of the accident at Puchet's Pond where John and Frank were kicked off their shoes and dived into the warm mid-summer water. Kouchclimer stood shining a flashlight and gazing at splashes in the dark where his flashlight luminated a car's rear end with its wheels up and heads bobbing in the water. Soon two men joined him exhausted and out of breath both distressed that they were unable to reach Martha Jo Kolabachi. Just then Kouchclimer dived in and swam across, then doubled back out of breath. By now it was well after midnight, so John and Frank began arguing with Kouchclimer,"Why didn't YOU try to get her out?" Kouchclimer hung his head and just kept saying over and over that it was an accident and that he would call the police as soon as he got back home. The two took him back home in Edgarville where he went inside. They left. Kouchclimer collapsed into bed and slept until 2:30 AM when noisy neighbors woke him up. He looked out the window at them leaving in the dark and went back to bed. About 8 AM, he was up, bathed, and put on clothes to greet the day. He walked over to the Ed Cafe where he ordered hash browns,eggs and coffee. John and Frank saw him there and asked if he had called the police to which he said,"NO" causing them to pick him up and take him to a pay telephone. One dialed the number while the other "detained" him in case he wanted to walk back to his breakfast or flee out the door. Within minutes, Deputy Faust had arrived to take all three back to the scene of the drowning. Divers arrived about the same time, donned black rubber diving suits and proceeded to check the car, where they found Kolabachi's limp form in the back seat. Pulling her to the shore, they noted she had no injuries except drowning. They both said it appeared that she had been in an air pocket near the back window of the vehicle since the diver stated she was grasping the seat to maintain a position in the air pocket. Though Sen. Kouchclimer claimed to be injuried and dazed after the incident, he had managed 17 long distance calls regestered on his credit card. Senator Kouchclimer received a suspended sentence of two months in jail. The victim was buried without an autopsy, the District Attorney wanted to exhume or dig up the corpse because of the circumstances but the judge said no. Miss Kolabachi's family received a check for $90,000 from Kouchclimer's family plus an insurance check of $50,000 and declined any civil case not desiring any "blood money." Noted best-selling Author Jack Olson writes true-life books concerning incidents from the news. The previous was a fictionalized account partly based on news.